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Well now...

Spent the weekend at Furfright, in the dealerapos;s room. Was surprisingly and happily busy all weekend. Got very little of that S thing. You know. The one that tends to be more fun with a partner? The one that, if done right, takes hours...and youapos;re unconscious? I have a vague memory of it being called "sleep?"
What were YOU thinking? Buncha perverts, I swear... ;p

Still, the poseable fuzzy critters were popular, and well received. As were the critter clips. Sold all but the penguin, and my white mouse, as well as taking commissions for a couple. Must remember to make more next con. Also, alchemy/potion component bottles were a hit. And fun to make, so bonus there.

Got to meet the amazingly talented and very sweet Diana Harlan Stein. Spent some time chatting on Sunday after the con, in the Atrium. Was a great experience, and learned quite a bit. Also sort of a reminder of the difference between those that do art for a fun little side hobby, and professionals who have strong work ethics and treat it like a business. Good things to keep in mind as I go forward with the art.

Tired now, and needing to finish 2 color badges. Then, sleep. Will post some pictures and scans soon

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I guess, i need to reel myself in.

Before i cast myself out too far into the great blue yonder.

Dinner with a senior student, reminded me of WHY�i created this Mr.�Brightsyde persona.

"Never to finish last place again, you must."

Whatever makes you happy young lady,

youapos;re special to me in this beautiful world,

wish i was special to you, didnapos;t care if it hurt me all the way.

but i was a weirdo,

guess i didnapos;t belong anywhere in your list.

So, good bye� (: ]

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The bad thing about living in California, is fire season. Instead of getting snow storms we get firestorms instead, personally I would take the snow since then at least I might be able to go outside and play around in it, but here you canapos;t go outside of your house cause of the ashes that are in the air. Now whatapos;s up with this talk about fires and everything. Well there just happened to be one really close to my house today, and with Californiaapos;s history of fires during the last recent fire seasons, I basically panicked. I thought that it might actually reach our house this time, since it was basically just a block over. Thank goodness the fire department acted immediately, and contained the fire before it could get out of hand. But we were on alert until 10 oapos;clock at night, and the fire had started around like 2:30 in the afternoon.

As soon as I got home I noticed that there was this huge plume of smoke coming from the direction of my house, and me and my friend were praying that it wouldnapos;t be anywhere near our houses but that wasnapos;t the case at all. The fire was in a canyon that was just behind the local high school across the street from my house. From what I heard it had started somewhere along the east side of the canyon and came dangerously close to burning some of the houses on the other side of the canyon. We got off lucky if any of the palm trees in the canyon had caught fire, then things could have taken a turn for the worst. Not to mention that I was so relieved to find out that that they had gotten the fire contained, cause if the wind had started blowing west than I would have most likely would have had to evacuate my house. Me and my sister had packed just in case that had happened, but thank god that it didnapos;t.

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Finished the previous weekapos;s lab last night. I actually had it done earlier than I thought I did. I had forgotten that we created a copy of the table in question to work with and spent a while trying to figure out why my table was being updated in the database. So yeah... Dingus moment of monstrous proportions.

This weekapos;s lab on XML files was a cake walk. Just took some time to go through all the steps. The one thing that did cause me a little trouble was creating a class file from the schema. The directions for the lab deal with VS 2003 and Iapos;m working in VS 2008, so there are often disconnects... Usually minor stuff. In this case, the directions tell me to select Schema > Generate DataSet and then Schema > Preview DataSet. Easy enough if I had a Schema option available, which I didnapos;t. I ended up manually creating the class file with the xsd.exe tool, but it still seems odd to me that the option available in an earlier version didnapos;t appear to have be available in the newer. A google didnapos;t help all that much, although I didnapos;t spend a bunch of time on the google since I knew the manual would work. Just in a get-er-done mood tonight.

That leaves working through the Java lab for this week, and starting work on both the Java and the ASP.NET projects this weekend.

I desperately need new clothes, so I think Iapos;m going to force myself to go shopping tomorrow. Might go to a pagan gathering on Sunday with a friend. Other than that, I donapos;t have any plans for the weekend. Maybe a visit to Dianes? But maybe not. Itapos;ll depend on how social Iapos;m feeling.

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Well the title alone should make you feel something. Iapos;m getting to the point where Iapos;m sick and tired seeing everyone else trying to live my life. For instance, I sign into myspace today to see what all my old friends are doing, mostly the ones I use to go to school with. I notice that one of these people, and trust me this is not the first time this has happened, has decided to make my very passion, one of their own. For months now I have had my profile, headline, status... Everything pointed at Alice in Wonderland and before this I havenapos;t seen anyone else have this on their space. Now as I look at one of the "friends" I have, it seems odd that all of a sudden itapos;s posted in their pictures.... Some of you are probably thinking "Whatapos;s the big deal about that:?" Well hereapos;s the deal. This person has ALWAYS done this. Any time I find something that Iapos;m very interested in... Miraculously so do they. In high school, if I changed the way I dress... They would too blah blah you get the picture... When my middle sister was born, I was SO excited to go to school the next day and tell all my friends about the baby. Well to my surprise everyone already knew. Thatapos;s because this person had gone and told everyone about it. Like it was her sister that was born, not mine. I mean come on .. Who does that... Seriously?? Look Iapos;m sorry that you werenapos;t all that popular and you needed me to get you noticed. What you really didnapos;t know was that all those "friends" you use to have... They were actually talking shit about you behind your back the whole time... And to whom you wonder were they talking shit too? Me. Iapos;ve heard it from everyone. People you would consider your "best friends" actually talked shit about you more than the people that didnapos;t like you at all. The only reason most of them put up with you was because you were my friend. Truth of the matter is, I really didnapos;t like you to begin with. The only reason I started talking to you was because you were friends with a guy that I really liked. I really wish I would stop seeing aspects of my life rubbing off on yours. You know that saying to each his own? Well live it bitch. Stop trying to be one of the "cool kids" because youapos;re failing miserably Reading your profile... Is kind of like reading my own... Only I have much better spelling and donapos;t talk like a 7 year old. Iapos;m going to delete you, enough said. Iapos;m really getting tired of going through this. I havenapos;t seen or talked to you in MANY MANY years and Iapos;m not about to be cloned now

As for Brianapos;s fan club leader Emmy. I know sheapos;ll never read this, but itapos;ll make me feel so much better knowing that someone might get a kick out of this and tell her... Give it up girl. He doesnapos;t, never did, or never will love you. Stop trying to check in on me and him every time you fucking see me. If you ask me if Iapos;m married and I say yes... Please God donapos;t make yourself look like an Idiot again and ask me if Iapos;m still "Happily Married" You knew me for how long? If I wasnapos;t happy the answer to the first question would have been NO. Why would I stay with someone if I wasnapos;t happy? Fuck �It was 8 years ago and the only reason he dated you... Was so that way he could be around me all the time. Trust me, he told me... And as you know the boy doesnapos;t lie. Iapos;m sorry Iapos;m living your dream. If you wouldnapos;t have cheated on him so many times, and wasnapos;t a nasty bitch... Maybe you could have kept him... Highly doubtful... But maybe. Youapos;ll never be the person that I am, I thankfully still brush my teeth every day... And He loves me... Always have and always will. When you see me, go on about your day because I donapos;t give two flying fucks about you or whatapos;s going on in your life. You should have gotten that point a long time ago. Like for instance, when you would call my house on a weekly basis wondering if Brian and I were still together. YES Weapos;re still together, and weapos;ll always be together. That will never change. You canapos;t honestly tell me that after all the shit you put Brian through and all the people you dated while you were dating him (I.E. Brandon H., Chad, Joey, Gregory... And anyone else I left out) you think that heapos;ll still want to be with you Thatapos;s the biggest laugh of my life because neither he nor I can stand your ass.. Now just do us all a favor, go raise your kids and leave MY family alone

Iapos;m getting ready to go through�my friends list again. Iapos;ve decided that anyone that I havenapos;t talked to in the last 6 months is going off my list because I donapos;t feel like I need them looking into my life if they donapos;t decide to actually talk to me to see whatapos;s going on. So when you see a big empty spot on your top friends because you want people to think that youapos;re still friends with me..... Just a forewarning that itapos;s me.... And thankfully my profile is private so once your gone thatapos;s it, unless you can give me a reason as to why you think you should still be on�my friends list. Myspace isnapos;t my life, but it is a part of it. Itapos;s how I keep in touch with those people that I donapos;t normal see on a day to month basis and if youapos;re on here and havenapos;t made any contact with me or visa verse then obviously we arenapos;t important enough to share our lives with each other through Myspace or any other contact. Iapos;m tried of having drama, Iapos;m tired of people trying to steal my life, and Iapos;m tired of being tired. You people need to get your heads out of your ass and learn to be yourself. I donapos;t understand why you think you can just take someone elseapos;s life and them not notice.

Trust me if I see this happening again, Iapos;ll be sure to let you know face to face. High School and Now are two very different time periods so grow the fuck up for Godapos;s Sake

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Crackkkeddd out like a mutha fucka. Gettin about 3 hours a sleep a night. Omg iapos;m not happy about it. But finally my two weeks of way way way too much fuckin work is OVA after 4 today. And it would be reallll nice to go home and straight pass out. But that wonapos;t be happening cause iapos;m traiing 5-9. Friday i work at catering and than i got straight to another training at unos from 5-9. Saturday 11-3 at unos, HOPEFULL�i can take a lil catty nap before me jacqui go to jillans, and sun i work at 3pm. :(� Everyone better belieeevee iapos;m sleeping till 3pm on Monday. No jokke
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�

Funny that my week started off after a night out at the So You Think You Can Dance Tourhellip;dancers are coordinated and graceful, their bodies move to the beats and everything jives, which is so NOT how my week is going. Let me just count the ways that Irsquo;ve displayed a lack of grace this week:

�

#1) 5 AM Monday morning, up for swim and headed downstairs for s little breakfast and BOOM I knocked over a heavy vase off of the bottom ledge of the staircase. Luckily no one was hurt and I didnrsquo;t wake my sleeping husband;
�

#2) Getting to work on Monday and what do you knowhellip;a little drip, drip of the coffee on my favorite light gray skirt.Ugh I was able to dab a little soap on the spots to get them out before any permanent damage was done;
�

#3) Lunch on Mondayhellip;I straight up choked on a carrot at my desk. I mean, come on This was some serious stuff, I had a co-worker give me the Heimlich and everything. What is wrong with me? Am I no longer coordinated enough to chew?�;
�

#4) Fartleks on a dark trail on Tuesday evening. Now this was just funny. I was trying to do my 1 min fast/ 1:30 min easy like Irina had told me to do, but I left work kinda late and ran out of daylight on the trail toward the end of my workout. I know the trails pretty well, but I was still being cautious with my stephellip;.cautious to the point of balancing myself with flailing arms. Yeah, full speed on the trail with airplane armshellip;thatrsquo;s cool. I cranked out 10 fartleks and called it a night before I twisted my ankle on an acorn.

�

All of this on top of a crazy week at work and I am feeling anything but graceful. Good news is, Irsquo;m feeling good in the pool. I�hit T3 practice on Monday and this morning -�both were great swims. I guess my flailing arms are good for something. We did 3 xrsquo;s 200rsquo;s this morning and we were supposed to drop 10 seconds off of every repeat and I ended up with a 3:45, 3:34, 3:31. I didnrsquo;t quite drop the 10 seconds on the last repeat, but I was satisfied with the effort.

�

I just got in from a really goof 5 mile run around the trail - Congress Ave. Loop. I was feeling like a rock starhellip;every song that came on my mp3 player was my fave ndash; Linkin Park, Gwen Stefani, Madonna ndash; they were all good jams. It was getting a little dark on the trail and with a pep in my step I was thinking about singing alonghellip;I thought, lsquo;whorsquo;s going to see me? Itrsquo;s dark. Letrsquo;s jamrsquo; I was just that into it. Luckily I decided against breaking out into song and was happy that I did because I ran into a friend of mine at the end of my run. I would have felt the fool if sheapos;d have caught me proclaiming along with Madonna that I only apos;GOT�4 MINUTES�TO�SAVE�THE�WORLDapos; Maybe it was my return to grace that made me decide against vocalizing my enjoyment of the tuneshellip;.we shall see.

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I am empty
I really havenapos;t been able
to write.
I stare at blank pages for hours.
Waakkkeee UuuupppPP.
Iapos;m still figuring out
how to adjust.
I have to fit the pieces together
and make it work.
This whole life thing, I mean.
Thatapos;s all it is.
Ne?
It might be bad to say
but I donapos;t think
I can be truly happy
without my music.
And I havenapos;t been able
to make any
in over a year.
Though I know thereapos;s
a reason
a meaning
for it.
I just donapos;t know
how much longer I can stand it.
Please, come back.
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Today I ordered flowers for my mum, and she got them in about 2hrs. I had a Good Daughter moment.

At uni I went down to stores for the very first time [I can order chemicals now ] and the man there was wwwwwaaaaaaayyyyyyy nicer than I ever imagined. For some reason I had it in my head that stores people were not nice?

Also met someone called Ryan in the common room, who has been in the same write up room as me for the past year and yet weapos;d never seen each other lol.


The amount I have done today is definately not proportional to the tiredness I am feeling. Sleep would be so good right now. Iapos;m going to go for a walk and try and wake myself up a bit.
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